I have wrestled with my call to share Jesus with people. From a young age I felt this call, and from that same young age I felt the 'weight' of this call. It can still at times feel heavy, even as a cross is heavy. The truth is, however, this 'me' - the evangelist me - is the truest me. That's just the way it is. Insofar as I deviate from this, or try to 'be' something other as my primary identity, I feel false - because I am false.
So now, after much struggle and resistance, I have decided to live and breathe my 'citizenship' as a believer (Phil 3:20), and do the rest of life, so to speak, on the side. So, I will apply myself to all that I do (work, family, community, etc. - cf. Eccl 9:10a), but never as a substitute for, or a token for, my love of God and commitment to the gospel. (Mt 22:36-40; Mk 8:35; Romans 10:14-15,17) The other night I was pondering the struggle that it is to both carry this 'identity', and to actually hold it clear in one's sight day in, day out. As I was wrestling, I overheard an interview on TV with a well-known presenter of a POP TV show. Turns out, this guy, like me, is the son of a preacher man, and he remembers fondly the church environment and community, when his father would be preaching... I wondered when I heard this interview, if this guy does his 'faith self' on the side of life, or if he does life on the side of his 'faith self'. Before God I will not judge this guy. I truly don't know. But I did feel a pang of relief at how God has dragged me - the truest me, the evangelist me - to the fore of my 'self' and my life journey. There were many years in my life when this was not the case. I can hand on heart say that I now prefer the struggle and the mess that comes with being true to my calling and 'name' (Rev 2:17), than the ease and the 'hollow' that came with a firmer earthly footing, a stronger alliance with the world. (Jn 3:8; Lk 12:8-9).
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This verse came to me today as a sober reminder about how God does things. It is very different to that of the world. If, in daily, working or sporting life, you 'bear fruit', you are honored, you are extolled, you are made prominent. But in the Kingdom of Jesus, the branch that bears fruit might look like the least honored branch - fewest leaves, fewest flowers, no fruit. We are told in this scripture that the branch that bears fruit is 'pruned' - that is, cut back, cut down, stripped bare.
I sometimes think of John the Baptist. After being the 'greatest of prophets' (Mt 11:11), the promised Elijah to precede the Christ (vs. 14), and faithful from childhood, he found himself alone, feeling forgotten, doubting and facing execution. He could not quite reconcile his own story, and his faith in Christ, with how his own path ended up. Listen, in sharing Jesus, in being faithful to your call and the great commission (Mark 15:15; Mt 28:18-20), you may bear much fruit, even see much fruit, and yet find yourself 'forgotten', or feel alone and facing hardship. You may feel this is out of keeping with your hard and faithful road of testifying to the Lord. I just want to encourage you, my friend, that part of your story at this moment is 'pruning'. One reason you may feel bare, without flower, without leaf, is because you are a fruit-bearer and Jesus prunes those branches. I encourage you to rest in the presence of the Lord today. Take a moment, maybe prepare a cup of tea or coffee, and sit quietly with your friend (John 15:15), and believe, 'feel', that he is pleased with you, that he is honored by you, and that he continues to cut your path open before you. Your reward is great! 'So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.' II Cor 4:18 '... the world was not worthy of them.' Heb 11:34 |
AuthorPeter Walker. Archives
March 2022
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